“Pull yourself together” “Sort yourself out” and “Get it together” “Sort it out”
Four statements that drove me on. Stuck themselves firmly in my brain. Were louder than all other ‘instructions’.
Complicated a great deal for me, by a great many others.
Alongside those three statements was the obvious fact that, pulling myself together was easy but, only possible when others did not push, punch, shatter, slap and/or smash me apart. Thing is, others did ‘apart’ me in many of the several ways mentioned and more besides.🤔-reflect.
Upon reflection, sorting myself out was possible but made more time consuming when others did not keep messing me up while I was trying to pull myself together. The physical handicaps that disabled me and still do, were and are cumbersome, more than challenging by themselves never mind the bigger expectations that being alive in England, from 1955 to now enforce.
I appeared to be expected to do more than those demanding of me. Being ridiculed because of my handicaps or failures to ‘comply’ opposed pulling myself together and sorting myself out.
As for sorting ‘it’ out and getting ‘it’ together…by now you’ll know my definition of it=Infinite truth and in upper casing has even bigger meaning. So….
I also add here the need in my heart, ‘to love’, added a known condition called ‘Stockholm syndrome’ to the list of my handicaps. That was the only handicap I was not conscious of until recently, ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ that, I recognised in others but not myself. My life continued, I did my best. Love was my drive. Still is. Now my own hearts’ love is better reasoned by me, no other dictates what or who I love.
The responsibility for everything, seemed to be falling on my shoulders, both in upper casing and lower casing. Both whispered through gritted teeth and shouted aloud, differing implication, as much as tones and implications in between.
Why was I responsible for sorting the mess and mayhem of others? Why were others not being responsible?
Who imposed, who voted that responsibility onto me? The responsibility is certainly not all mine. Certainly NOT! I take responsibility for my part alone.
It is not possible for one person alone to pull ‘it/IT’ together or sort it/IT’ out!
That takes cooperation of collaborative teams, eventually uniting in one cause, “Sorting it out-Getting it together”. For better for all. Not just sections of inadequate bullies with weapons and addictions that are unacceptable.
No one seemed aware of much beyond their own sphere of family or community. Most seemed bent on shifting full responsibility and unreasonable expectations, onto me instead.
Well, I’m not going to accept that responsibility. I’m not able to do the pulling together or sorting of ‘it’ due to physical impossibilities.
Not only because of my failings no, it’s because of the failings of others…yes! Global population failings are rife.
Admittedly my failings did not and cannot help me or others but, that is called being human…allegedly. As is addressing them! Sorting them.
I shall continue pulling myself together, while hoping others do the same. I shall continue sorting myself out while hoping others do the same. Sorting myself out is less complex than pulling myself together, given the handicaps disabling my person. I shall though. No longer in Stockholm syndrome makes doing so less emotional.
I shall, only love in my own reasoning, not for the reasons others expect of me. Most certainly not in the reasoning of those emulating or actually being of evil mind. It is not possible to love evil nor those emulating, uniting with evil. Their choice is not my responsibility so I drop the burden of them from my shoulders onto their own toes.
Onward I continue with that knowledge. With my love now sorted, my caring heart in one piece, established and, I now recognise those who truly love me or want to. I easily enjoy the company of: Those who find themselves liking my company. Those who introduce new understandings to me. Those who carefully consider my understandings. Those of like mind.
Not too much enjoying of others because I have handicaps that disable me and I have creative thoughts to express to the best of my ability. Many distractions are enjoyable, they are not always conducive to progression of self in a proper or, considerate of others, manner.
The handicaps that disable me cause different reactions. I am aware of and understand, though not always liking or enjoying all. Not all reactions to any disabling handicap are acceptable.
The personal reaction to any disabling handicap proves a persons value and, makes apparent their own level of/stage of development. Whether they are handicapped or not, reactions differ in acceptability. Some are it seems, quite content to judge another as of no use, when they observe a handicap differing from theirs. Believing themselves to be perfect in mind and in form. Those believing they are perfect, better than, superior to, others, in form and in mind, are in a state of unacceptable delusion.
That, I observe, is unacceptably common among many, in many societies and communities. Be responsible. Do no harm. Starting from now. Be aware of harm done or being doing and correct self before expecting others to mend things for selfish advantage.
Until we are all without advantage the divisions are unsorted. Obviously my observations shall disturb those with unacceptable advantages.
I neither pander to nor accept the statements of those expecting to continue with the unreasonable, the unjust and the unacceptable advantages.
So there.
Ruth’s Place 